Practicing The Presence of The Infinite God: I am just beginning this practice in earnest. But I trust what Shahabuddin says, “It depends so much on Rhythm and Tone.”
First Consider Rhythm: Let me remember my state of being when on retreat. It is the 4th or 5th day and I am well into it. Everything has slowed down for me. I walk slowly. Eat deliberately. I have let go of what needs to be let go of and my breath is even ~ my state of being is calm, focused but not thinking. Movements are soft and even. My breath is in a steady, metered Rhythm. I am Practicing the Presence of God.
Now what about my Tone? This is mostly unknown for while on retreat I am alone and my tone, unfurls most acutely when I am in contact with others. Oh, perhaps, on retreat I feel my tone but more subtly as I interact with nature. I feel love without an object, an interfused sense of well-being. I feel Thankful. And I feel part of a whole. These emotions, these feelings are my Tone. But it is almost too easy, for it is only when I contact others that I really have the opportunity to be challenged to practice the Presence of God.
No need to ask why it is hard. Instead just try to meet the challenge. What can I do? What works? What is Practice the Presence of God in Life? Consider, a simple example of ‘Impatience‘ arising in me. As it takes over that becomes my tone. Shahabuddin suggested a wonderful solution: “Become aware” of my state, and my tone and act accordingly. And more often than not that action is to do nothing at all, just listen and watch. The key is Being Aware of the tone from which I am acting then I am not ruled by it and space opens up and Divine energy can flow again. Oh, I do have damaging tones, these restrictive dense atmospheres. I am human. But I need not be ruled by my narrowness, my denseness and the least I can do is limit the damage it does.
So what do I do? For me, In life, I need to maintain that slow, deliberate rhythm that looks and sees, that listens, that watches. In that state, I am better able to face the challenges of my harsh, controlling tones taking over and restricting the Divine flow. For me what is necessary is to adjust my rhythm first then. From that steady place, I am better able to Be Aware of my tone if I become too fast or chaotic, too caught up in successes or failures, doing — I chant a slow deliberate rhythm adjuster. In my case, I chant, “Nam-o A-Meeda Boo Shue”. With my rhythm adjusted I am in a state of relative openness, I am free to act and I don’t plan what is next. I listen and act but I am not the doer. And I do not know what is next. In some sense, I become not the actor but the acted upon. Oh, I am always both. This is not some passive channeling, I am present as this individual dharmic incarnation that adds my two cents while still doing the bidding of the Divine Flow.
What do I not do? Well, I have already made the mistake of way too, too many words, I am in danger of thinking I know something, and then all is lost. I need to be careful not to breed separateness with that steady, smooth breath but just stay near that state of awareness of what is my tone, right now. I listen a lot. I wait. I watch. I often act by Not Speaking. By Not Doing. There is a bit of that Cone of Silence surrounding me, not as a protection, a separation but as representative of me ~ Practicing the Presence.
So where am I left? I act as if I am retreating while moving through my daily life, my activities, and my doings. I move slowly. Deliberately. I look and really See, not just glancing it over, assuming I know. In the Seeing, there are hidden signs of the next step. In watching I feel the next step. And I act without acting.
And how often do I do this? How many times a day? I take a cue from Gangagi out in Ashland, OR. Her answer is “often, is “Constant Vigilance.” So that is my Truth right now. What is yours?
Confessions: Most often I am not aware of my state, my tone. I am unconsciously immersed in it. In my judgment. In my harshness. In my abruptness, I am ruled by my lack of patience with others and myself. My imagined loving caring attitude, this sweet pretending vanishes when my negatives bullhead their way in and take over. Was that softness, that kindness is real at all. Or do I just stink of hypocrisy? This stink motivates me even more to Practice the Presence of that Diving Flow that I serve.
Note: So need to maintain a slow, steady, and measured rhythm. This manner of being can seem out of place in this fast-paced modern world but it is what I need for now. For this practice to be effective it needs to be practiced in every movement, in every act, and in every series of feelings and thoughts. Nothing part-time about this. This I give. To Thee I receive. In this, I Live.
One World 